Published on

It’s started. They’re playing Christmas songs on the radio. The anticipation is building. Is it going to be a very merry Christmas for you under the mistletoe or will you be left cold outside?

FHDC deciphers some of the most popular Christmas songs to help you decide if your luck is going to be in or out this Christmas.

Wham – Last Christmas

Get over it George. You appeared too desperate and you think novelty Christmas jumpers are amusing. Is there any wonder that she dumped you for the guy who didn’t act like a stalker? Yep. Give it to someone special. Probably your Mum.

Mistletoe Rating: 3/10

I saw Mummy Kissing Santa Clause

Hmmm we all thought ‘naughty mummy’ when we were kids, but when we realised who was underneath the red suit and fluffy beard as we got older, we understood that Mum and Dad had probably been on the mulled wine after Midnight Mass and were feeling the calm before the storm of Christmas morning with the extended family. Top tip next time…lock the kids in their rooms!

Mistletoe Rating: 7/10

Dean Martin – Baby It’s Cold Outside

Have you taken a moment to listen to the lyrics of this sleazy Xmas ramble? “Say, what’s in this drink?…Your eyes are like starlight now”. Forgive me for being suspicious but this sounds like the plot for a Christmas psycho slasher movie. Run girl run!! He’s drugged you.

Mistletoe Rate: 0/10

Bing Crosby – White Christmas

This is more like it. Dripping with nostalgia and creating imagery of a magical white Christmas. Bing’s voice is so smooth you’ll be thinking ‘BINGO’ as that special person in your life makes you feel all ‘merry & bright’.

Mistletoe Rating: 9/10

Mariah Carey – All I want for Christmas is You

She just keeps on waiting underneath that mistletoe? Santa Clause won’t make her happy with a toy on Christmas day? Poor lass. Just about as needy as poor old George. Stop wailing ‘oooooooooooooh’ it’s enough to shatter Jack Frost’s baubles.

Mistletoe Rating: 5/10

The Pogues – Fairytale of New York

‘It was Christmas Eve in the drunk tank’… let’s face it you’ve blown it haven’t you?! The bells were ringing out on Christmas day, you’ve got a filthy hangover and probably have breath like Rudolph’s oat sack.

Mistletoe Rating: 0/10

Slade – Merry Christmas Everybody

‘Does your granny always tell you that the old songs are the best?’ – well they are aren’t they. Since Simon Cowell killed off the joy of the Christmas number one with his annual pointless cover, we all cling to the good old days. Go for it Gran. Have a sherry and get Granddad under the mistletoe. Just don’t do that thing where you take you dentures out first as it will creep everyone out.

Mistletoe Rating: 8/10

Wizzard – I Wish it Could Be Christmas Everyday

Let’s face it. If you are at a Christmas party and this Christmas belter comes on, everyone is going to be up on the dance floor. It’s 1973. Nobody is Snapchatting daft pouty selfies. ‘Oh, when the snowman brings the snow’… as long as UBER brings your cab, it just won’t matter. See how long you can keep your Christmas cracker hat on and dance the night away.

Mistletoe Rating: 10/10

FHDC’s top tips for making it a kissable Christmas...

1. Book in for a professional clean with our dental hygienist. Nobody will kiss you if you have bits of sprout stuck between your teeth.

2. Get your Teeth Whitened. It may not snow but you can guarantee your own white Christmas with either at home or combination teeth whitening.

3. Book in for a Free Consultation. There is still time to sort out broken, damaged, stained or missing teeth before the Christmas party season.

Tags: , , ,

Recent news articles

Free Teeth Straightening Guide
Free Teeth Straightening Guide

Published on 14th March 2018

Would you like to learn more about Short Term Orthodontics and the various treatment options that are available? We have a simple “Free Teeth Straightening…

FHDC Dentists in Leeds Logo
IMPORTANT: Traffic Disruption 6 March 2018

Published on 8th March 2018

Latest Update: The practice is now open (well done Georgette for first one to get there). The rest of the team are on the way…

FHDC Dentist Car Park in Snow
FHDC is open despite the snow… But call to confirm

Published on 1st March 2018

We are still open despite the bad weather. Our opening hours might change slightly so it’s best to call on 0113 275 1323 to double…

Good Luck to Megan

Published on 16th February 2018

Everyone at FHDC would like to wish Megan all the very best for the future in her new role as Office Manager at the University…

Dental Veneers are a popular dental treatment
Focus on Dental Veneers

Published on 6th February 2018

Dental Veneers are now one of the most requested services at our Leeds based dental clinic. What are Dental Veneers you might be asking? Well…

Beware of rogue teeth whitening
Beware of Illegal Teeth Whitening

Published on 6th February 2018

A recent BBC report warns people to be aware of illegal tooth whitening after a number of beauticians have been found performing illegal teeth whitening…

Subscribe for news and offers...